1. Does your partner
A) compliment your expert kissing skills, or
B) frequently choke on your tongue ring?
2. After kissing you, do people
A) find an irresistable urge to leap onto you and
drag you into bed, or
B ) N/A no one ever kisses you?
3. When did you first french kiss?
A) on your first hot date with Ryan Philippe, or
B) with your first grade teacher?
4. Which do you consider more enjoyable:
A) practicing tongue and lip exercises every morning
while watching Richard
B) licking toilet seats.
5. Musicians: does your partner often comment that
A) "all those practice hours are really paying off," or
B) "I'm not a trumpet."
6. At the movie theater, is the person you're kissing usually
A) deriving much pleasure from your skillful maneuvers, or
B) your mother.
7. Do you practice kissing on
A) your girlfriend/boyfriend, or
B) your gerbal.
8. Does the bulk of your kissing experience consist of
A) making out with the girl/guy of your dreams (in your dreams), or
B) failed attempts at sharing ice cream cones with your dog.
9. We all know that if you can tie a cherry stem in a knot, then you
are a good kisser. So...
A ) Not only can I tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue,
but I can tie my shoe laces,
write short essays and sculpt
ceramic bowls, or
B) I do not have a tongue.
10. When kissing, do you experience
A) immense burning pleasure, or
B) bowel movements.